"I’m Not A Coward I’ve Just Never Been Tested"

Sh*t is getting cra-zy. 

 “The Libyans!”  – Doctor Emmett Lathrop “Doc” Brown
I’m pretty sure Japan is like “WTF guys?”
If you have no clue what’s going on, please go read something.

On a more personal note: I came inches away from being in a full-on bar brawl on St Pats. Allow me to illustrate.

I’m at the jukebox picking out songs and two women come up behind me, waiting to pick a few songs as well. One of these women is extremely intoxicated, and why not? it’s St Patrick’s Day…

Now, I had heard some drunk bitch screaming earlier, so when this chick starts up, I assume it’s been her.

“Hey! hey! Can we pick too?!”
“Yes. I’m going to pick my two more credits, then you can go.”

Her friend looks mortified and exhausted and tells her to be quiet and tells me to take my time. But as I was finishing telling her to wait, the drunk one is already screaming

“Hey! She’s the girl from the movie! Shes that girl!”

Her friend is still telling her to shut the fuck up.

As I’m browsing for my next pick(s), my first pick, “I’m Shipping Up To Boston” by Dropkick starts. Drunk bitch, after some shit-talking, immediately says

“This is fucking Dropkick Murphys!”
“Fuck yeah it is!” 
I so eloquently reply and throw up a hand for fiver. She obliges and screams, 
“I’m from Boston!”

…I resisted informing her of my location of orientation, to avoid the physically contact. The tension was intense. Major bitch vibes being exchanged. Before this pathetic attempt at a friendly connection, this chick has been yelling all sorts of random pushy things to which I’ve retaliated with completely stopping making my selections and staring at her with an “I’m going to F you up” look and by talking at her like a child.

My eager aggression was only exacerbated by the intense intro on “I’m Shipping Up to Boston.” I always thought it would be awesome to get into a fight to this song… could this be my magic moment?

I return to making my last song selection, choosing “Devils Dance Floor” by Flogging Molly… yeah.

Now, D.B’s friend has been telling her to back off and shut the hell up this whole time because the few quotes I provided are not even the tip of this conversational iceberg. Have I mentioned that she’s been screaming crazy shit this whole time. Anyway, D.B. suddenly screams,
“I’m gonna kick your ass” and steps toward me pointing her finger.
I turned to face her front on and stepped toward her as well. 

I was very impressed with myself! To quote The Mighty Mighty Bosstones “I’m not a coward I’ve just never been tested” and in this case I was, and I passed. Her friend immediately turns to me and in a near plea says
“She’s not going to kick your ass” to which I reply 
“It’s cool if she wants to try.” I know. Gangsta sh*t.

At this point Casey comes up along side me… I guess in some way of showing support. He claims it was to prevent me jumping at this bitch. Either way, I nudged him off saying pretty damn loudly,

“I’m TOTALLY cool!” 
I felt like the whole bar was watching, but couldn’t look away from this woman. But here’s where her friend grabs D.B. and very sternly and seriously yells 
“You have to stop!” 
and walked her away. I then heard her tell their other friends “It’s time for her to go home.”
As I walked back to our high top, I have to admit: I was really disappointed that it didn’t escalate. I guess I was just in a fighting Irish kind of mood. I was so down to brawl and I didn’t even have any of my girls with me for back-up. It was the Jack Daniels Badge of Courage. I would consider it an honor to knock some light weight out on St Pats… Maybe next year…

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