I Quit [Smoking]! Take Two

I am a smoker. It is so ingrained in me as a person. I wish I could say I hate it too, but I don’t. I love smoking.

I’ve shared and experienced so much over a smoke or a whole pack of smokes. I’ve stayed up with kindred spirits and watched the sunrise after a night of personal stories and secrets where the only thing that got us through was the nicotine. There’s a bonding that happens over smoking. I’ve made an nourished some of my most cherished friendships in the haze of all the smoke. But it’s time to quit.

Today, I bought a 3 week supply of 21mg nicotine patches. I honestly don’t believe I need to used 21mg patches per day for 3 weeks, and then 3 more, and then reduce to 14mg for 2 weeks, and then whatever the next step down in for another 2 weeks. I’m also pretty certain the 21mg patches will make me sick. I’ll have to see how I do with the full 21mg patch, and then cut them in half if necessary, I’ll just cut it in half every week… It’s really more about breaking the habit for me without me being a complete bitch all day. When I’ve quit in the past, it wasn’t hard to stop. I was fine. But sooner or later I was like, “fine, then I’m just going to smoke anyway right now because I f*cking want to.” Honestly, I’m positive I will smoke again. At a bar, if a friend has one I might enjoy, I will indulge. I don’t believe having one every once in a while is bad. Its a matter or not having it as part of your regular routine and not buying any EVER. Never have them on you just because. Never bum one, just because; but to treat oneself is different. Never rely on it when emotional, it’s not an effective crutch, that leads back to habit. Who knows, maybe I’m just the big dumb, irrational smoker. Only time will tell.

I keep reminding myself of all the health, beauty and financial benefits to quitting. I thought it would be beneficial, not just to myself, but perhaps to others looking to rid themselves of this horrid habit. I’ve broken my reasons down into several groups and I will depend on these facts and anecdotes to help me get through the quitting process

Personal Reasons
I’m Embarrassed by my smoking.

I used to get out of my car with a cig in hand and walk to where ever it was I’m going. I’ve walked numerous city streets just puffing away. Enjoying one on the beach or while out for a walk. But for a while now I hide it. I put my smoke out before getting out of my car, I will stop in quiet corners to keep my disgusting habit as far away from view of others as possible. I don’t want people to see me smoking, especially kids.They know better than me, an adult.

My Grandmothers. 

Both my Nana and Grandma were lifetime smokers. Both have passed. Subsequently, I want to quit for the rest of my family who have had to deal with their passings and hate seeing me disregarding the perfect examples set before me. Including:

My Father and Youngest Sister.

I want them both to quit. I could never ask being a smoker myself.

My Children.

I don’t have any. God only knows if I ever will. But I never want to be a Mommy who smokes.


I have a generalized anxiety disorder, which causes me to have debilitating panic attacks over minimal problems. The elevated heart rate and “jitters” caused by smoking only make my panic attacks worse and more frequent. Recently,I’ve been able to control my anxiety with meditation techniques and I hope my quitting will help me better control my anxiety.

Health Reasons

Cancer – Most Obvious – Lung Cancer, Mouth Cancer, Throat Cancer and Stomach Cancer… just to name the most common associated with smoking. Smoking really makes you more susceptible to all cancers. You’re just welcoming in carcinogens and they’ll attack anywhere.

Cardiovascular Diseases – Narrow, Rigid and Blocked Arteries. Increased cholesterol levels in blood. Coronary Thrombosis. Cerebral Thrombosis. Coronary Heart Disease. Stroke. Blood Clots (especially in legs). Increased heart rates from smoking weaken the heart’s muscles, setting it up to fail. Damaged Nerves that ultimately causes uncontrollable shaking. Damaged blood vessels.

Emphysema and other forms of Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD), I hope, upon my death bed, I actually get “my last breath”.

Quitting smoking would also grant me more stamina for physical activity and feeling less sluggish overall.

Beauty Reasons

Where do I even begin? Bad Breath. Stained Yellow Teeth, Fingers and Nails. Weak, Dull Hair. and I knew smoking was bad for your skin, but I didn’t realize just how bad:

Broken and damaged blood vessels combined with thinning of facial skin causes dark circles under eyes.

Deep lines form around lips.

Overall saggy skin. Smoking decreases skin’s elasticity. -Gross.

Overall older looking skin, everywhere. Smoking contracts blood vessels which prevents oxygen from getting to the skin’s surface making it look dull, old and gross.

Because nicotine constricts tiny capillaries that nourish skin, wrinkles form everywhere.

Basically, if I keep smoking I will be some murky-grey colored, uber wrinkly, sticky-ass, stained-yellow, old bitch. AH!!!! I can not allow this! I love the social aspects of smoking… but who whats to hang out with the f*cking crypt-keeper anyway! F*ck this! I quit! I know I’m a stupid shallow bitch for having the beauty side effects of smoking encourage me to quit more than the health aspects, but at least I’m quitting!

Financial Reasons

A pack of cigarettes down her is more than $6.00, so let’s just round to $7.00 per pack. I spend:
(about) $50.00 Weekly.
(about) $ 200.00 Monthly.
and (about) $ 2,600.00 Yearly.

I would much rather spend that money on awesome sh*t, like: vacations, clothes and makeup. I’d rather redecorate my bedroom. I’d rather go back to school or pay off some debt. I can use this money for so much! and I love money so this is a huge source of encouragement.

In order to better help myself through the quitting process, I will be implementing new, healthy dietary, beauty and work-out regiments.

Instead of all the sporadic eating I do throughout the day, I will plan-out and pre-portion 5-6 daily meals/snacks to keep my metabolism going and keeping me energized throughout the day.

Since the theatre season is coming to an end, and I will now be home in the evenings for a proper dinner, instead of smoking after my meal, I will take a walk, jog or run.

I need to start repairing my skin hardcore so I will add a nightly cream and daily moisturizer with spf into my nightly and makeup routines.

Exfoliating and alternating between hot and cold water in the shower helps improve circulation which encourages cell growth for improved skin.

Eating lots of fruits and veggies will not only help me keep up with my new 5-6 meal diet plan, but all the vitamins will really help regenerate and revive my skin: Vitamin A will help decrease wrinkles, Vitamin C (and Zinc) promote the formation of collagen to help improve the skins elasticity. Vitamin E which are found in lettuce and carrots, helps improve the blood circulation for the skin giving a healthy, youthful look. Bromelain, which is found in pine-apples helps rid the body of toxins.

I will incorporate drinking WAY more water too. I’ve gotten so bad about my water drinking. I pretty much drink Coke all the time. I’d like give up soda and make it a once-in-a-while treat, but… one vice at a time. I need that caffeine, especially right now.

Well, as of tomorrow: no more smoking. Wish me luck!

shut up little cigarette man!

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